I want to walk on stilts...naked
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
