Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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