LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
