I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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