she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
