Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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