i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
