did you get engaged???
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
