my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
