I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize