you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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