Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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