everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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