Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
