I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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