I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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