so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
