that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize