Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
