I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize