I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize