chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
