I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
