weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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