No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
