At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Randomize
