your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Randomize
