Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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