btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
