So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
