Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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