We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize