im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
