one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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