Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
