if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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