So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
