i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
