dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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