Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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