at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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