How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
