at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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