I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
