"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
