You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
