ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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