She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
that's an acceptable place to lick
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize