i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize