I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
MIDGETS
????
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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