So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
