whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
