You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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