I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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