so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
