Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
