anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We need to rekindle our bromance
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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