seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
