about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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