Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
