the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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