Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
