69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
