Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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