I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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