Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
