p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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