its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
