Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
