Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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