His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize