After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
