I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
