how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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