So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Girls should come with a carfax report
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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