Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
